If you haven’t learned this about me yet from reading this blog, I like a schedule. I’m a girl of routines. So I read the books and pulled bits and pieces to find what worked for us. But here’s the Cliff’s Notes of what these books preach. The main thing is just to get into a routine.
Daytime, in this order:
- Eat
- Awake time (this might be very short at first)
- Sleep
(Yes, I would wake him up to eat by 3 hours if he did not wake up on his own – but normally he did.)
And nighttime:
- Eat
- Straight back to sleep (no engagement)
Why schedule?
It’s actually doing your baby a favor, as the theory goes. When babies are born, they don’t know the difference between night and day – they’ve been in a lovely dark cocoon for 9 months.
At first, their sleep is broken into small chunks because a) they digest food really fast so they need to be fed frequently to get the nutrients they need and b) they haven’t learned how to connect their sleep cycles yet. Apparently even we as adults wake up a few times in the night between cycles but put ourselves back to sleep without even knowing it!
That’s what babies have to learn to do. You’re teaching them the difference between night and day. Getting your baby into some semblance of a pattern sooner than later helps them begin to regulate their internal clocks faster. You can do this by getting them into a rhythm, as well as giving them some other cues at night, such as keeping the room dark, and not engaging with them. I recommend purchasing a red light bulb for lamp near the doorway in your room. This provides enough light to see what you’re doing at night, but doesn’t wake up you or your baby like a normal light would.
Fringe benefits
The added benefit to the schedule is that it helps you more easily diagnose your baby’s fussiness. Some books and blogs say you will learn to tell the difference between your babies cries, but this didn’t happen for me until a couple months in. So at first, I really relied on what came next in his schedule. If he was crying, I could look at the clock and see that it was nap time and try that first, before just assuming he wanted food.
And, of course, it can help bring a little peace and order to your otherwise upside down world!
The flexibly rigid part
Around 8 weeks old I stopped feeding on a schedule (which was roughly every 3 hours) and started letting him tell me when he was hungry. He was steadily gaining weight, sleeping 6-8 hours in a row at night, and I could tell that he was to a point where he could go longer, he was just used to eating that frequently. I wanted him to now find his own natural eating rhythm. That week he naturally transitioned from eating every 3 hours to eating every 3.5 to 4. At 9 weeks he began to sleep 12 hours a night (what a miraculous night that first one was!).
Of course, I can’t guarantee that your baby will sleep through the night by 8-9 weeks old. The schedule is supposed to help make it happen, but every baby is different. To be honest, I was doubtful if it was going to happen for us. In the weeks leading up to that wonderful night, he was all over the place. Some nights he would wake up at 12:30, the next night at 2:30, then 1:30, back to 12:30, then 4:30, then 5, then 3, then 4, then 6 … you get the point. But it kept on a slow trajectory toward later and later, even with the bouncing back and forth. So, have faith if this happens – a full night could be just around the corner!
Finding patterns in a sleepy newborn
You may be thinking that finding patterns and setting a schedule with a sleepy newborn is easier said than done. Don’t stress yourself out about this. Even just 5 minutes of awake time after eating is enough (a great time to try tummy time!). Slowly, they’ll start staying awake longer and longer.
This “cheat sheet” by Noob Mommy I used as a loose guide for my schedule.
